I Pitch The Next Trending Series...
- Jules Robinson
- Feb 12, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 13, 2019
Remember the good old days when you'd get to school on a Monday morning and the only TV shows worth chatting about with your school mates were what happened on that Friday's The Inbetweeners and oh-thank-God channel 4 have started showing old episodes of Will and Grace again? Just me? Well, early 2000's British school days or not, popular episodic series are now much trickier to navigate. Just as you finish watching all 31 episodes of a Season EVERYONE has been going on about, a new show has popped into the public sphere only to be heralded as 'the thing to watch right now QUICK before something else comes along and/or we get it out of our systems somehow in a matter of hours'.
In order to sidetrack this (and lay claim to what are, as you'll see, phenomenal ideas) I've decided to side-step the subscription middle-man and come up with my own binge-watchable TV shows.
Oh, right, I also made my own artwork. I know, a woman of MANY talents.
Hero Noir
First off, let's take the biggest genres and tropes in TV and film right now and crush them all together into one, crazy soup. A detective with a serious (*insert relevant drug here*) addiction attempts to hunt down a group of superheroes who've gone rogue and started committing horrendous murders. The detective's narration can be so prominent that it becomes it's own character- think JD from Scrubs meets Sin City. Also, upbeat pop music can play over all the grotesque action/murder sequences because apparently that's a thing now. Dudes will say it's art.
Lady Poppy Saucer Sees
A 19th century Lady has been gifted with PSYCHIC ABILITIES but instead of seeing into the future, she can see into the past. Episodes are pretty formulaic and can include things like; Lady Poppy figuring out someone is lying, re-telling important moments from history, 'remembering', discovering a love interest's harrowing past. Basically, Jane Austen meets That's So Raven. The soundtrack is modern tunes played on a harpsichord. It will miraculously have 5 seasons despite no one ever wanting to admit that they watch it.
F.O.E.S
(I forgot to make a poster for this) Like F.R.I.E.N.D.S but with Victorian vagrants instead of middle-class New Yorkers. The six foes are:
- Scabby Ted
- Wilson Wilson Jr
- Crotchy Anne
- Spatts
- Janice Screwdriver
- Michael J. Pilfer
Very little would happen each episode but they'd sleep with each other in various combinations and often gather around a big pan of gruel, chatting about their 'loot'. The show would encourage many a clickbait article with headlines like 'Which F.O.E.S Character Are You?' ("Oh my God Sarah, you're such a Crotchy Anne") 'Why Spatts And Scabby Ted Are The Real OTP' and '21 Reasons Why Michael J. Pilfer Is Problematic'.
Millenni- HELL
A reality TV show in which every episode, 3 adults in their twenties or thirties are shown around family-sized houses whilst the owners walk around in their dressing gowns, describing what renovations they've had done. Afterwards, the millennials are taken into a studio and given 30 seconds to describe why living in the inner city is 'worth the financial hassle'. The winner (the one who cries the least) receives a £4.50 gift card to Krispy Kreme.
Help! My Crush Is A Slug
High school drama where half the student population become bio-luminescent blobs after a freak nuclear accident happens on a school trip. An awkward and lazy attempt at portraying minority oppression as the bio-luminescent blob people get picked on relentlessly. They can also develop poison glands so that the still-human protagonist can feel anguish at her love-interest's danger akin to that of vampires or werewolves. It will receive a cult following and be described as 'guilty pleasure viewing'. Uni students will go dressed as the characters for Halloween and insist that it's done 'ironically'.
Brb, Netflix is calling.
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